In which Jack spends 40 minutes fighting for a lost cause. This is probably the only time that happens.
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| Jack episodes are my favorite because the screencaps are just so easy. |
PREVIOUSLY, ON LOST
Boone ran off a cliff. But he kept running in mid air for a few steps. He slowed to a stop as he realized what was happening. He looked down, held up a sign that said "YIPE", and plummeted to the ground below, landing in a puff of smoke.
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| Where did his teeth go????? |
Locke rushes Boone's body to the caves, where Jack is. Jack goes into Action Doctor mode and starts ordering everyone around as he tries to stop Boone's bleeding. When Jack turns around to ask Locke for more details about the accident, he finds out Locke is missing. Kate is trying to be Jack's nurse, but Jack yells at her because she's terrible and is doing everything wrong. Then he sends her off to do some busy work. It's my favorite part of the episode.
He sends Kate down to the beach to raid Sawyer's liquor cabinet for disinfectant. Which means the return of the character find of 2004, tiny bottle of vodka. He also tells her to find Shannon while she's down there. Shannon is on a date with Sayid. We will not speak of it further. So Kate goes running into the jungle, like she does, and Sun takes over as Jack's nurse. Sawyer is actually helpful and gives Kate everything she needs. It's nice to see him fitting in. She takes off back to the caves, but then slips on a banana peel and falls on her backpack, breaking the bottles.She really only breaks one of the 80 that she has in her bag, but she acts like the whole trip was wasted now. Kate ruins everything. And climbs trees.
Up in the caves, Jack stitched up Boone's chest, and set his broken leg. Those were the big ones. But Boone lost a lot of blood and needs a transfusion, He regains consciousness long enough to tell Jack his blood type. It's A-, which is one of the most useless blood types, so perfect for Boone. He can only get blood from someone who is also A-, or someone who is O- (the universal donor). Luckily, there's only one person on the island who actually knows their blood type! And he's O-! And he's already trying to fix Boone! OK, not so lucky there. Jack starts looking for a needle so he can pour his very life's blood into the useless cause of fixing Boone.
Out in the spooky jungle, Kate hears some spooky moaning. She does some investigating and finds Claire, who has gone off into a quiet corner to have her baby, like she's a cat or something. First Kate wants to get Claire to Jack, but she can't move. Then she wants to bring Jack to Claire, even though she knows that Jack is in the middle of major surgery right now. That's why she's in the jungle in the first place. Just the worst. Anyways, Claire doesn't want to be left alone, so Kate just starts yelling for help. She gets Jin. Not ideal, but we can make this work. She's able to get the important information across. Get the booze to Jack, then tell him Claire is about to poop out a baby.
There are two problems with this plan. Jack has his veins hooked up to a blood sink, and Sun, the only person on this island Jin doesn't want to see, is helping him. He's able to put aside his guilt and shame for the moment and tells the medical team what's going on. Jack, of course, can't help. So he tells Charlie what to do, and stresses in no uncertain terms that Kate is going to have to deliver the baby. Look, he's lost a lot of blood, he's not thinking clearly. We'll cut him some slack. Charlie and Jin run back to the maternity ward. Boone wakes up for a few minutes and lets it slip that he was in a plane crash. No, not the one that everyone was in, another one. Also, something about a hatch? Jack is very confused. But he's positive about two things. Boone did not fall off a cliff. And Boone's leg is too fucked up. It's going to have to come off.
Charlie and Jin make it to Claire. She's scared obvs and doesn't want to have the baby, but Kate talks her through it and a nice healthy boy falls out. Back in the OR, Jack has cobbled together a guillotine, but for some reason no one wants to help him cut off Boone's leg. Sun has been very good about gently standing up to Jack and prodding him to go in the right direction. But now she's putting her foot down. I can't tell is she's being written out of character this week, or if it's great character growth. I guess we'll see next week. She even tells Jack that he can't do this. Jack does not take kindly to people telling him what he can't do. I'm starting to understand why he doesn't get along with Locke. But Boone wakes up again in the nick of time, to tell Jack that it's OK. He doesn't have to save him. Also, to tell Shannon.... then he dies. So long, Boone. You even screwed up your last words.
The next day, everyone is fawning over the new baby. But then Shannon and Sayid get back from Temptation Island, and Jack has to go give her the bad news. There's lots of crying. But there's just enough time left for a cliffhanger before we go! Jack is convinced that this was no accident. It was moider. So he needs to find Locke and get some answers.
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| I think he's trying to pull his head into his body, like a turtle. |
The flashback is all filler this week. Ostensibly, the purpose of the flashbacks is to teach us something new about the character by showing us what they were like before the island. But there's nothing new here. We learn that Jack used to be married (which I think we knew) and that he's a control freak with daddy issues who can't let anything go. (which we definitely knew). We find out the ethically dubious way he met his wife. So there's that, I guess.
We start off with Jack playing dress up with his friend, That Kid With The Yellow Eyes from Christmas Story, who will be the best man at his upcoming wedding. They banter for a bit, then it's off to the rehearsal dinner where we meet Jack's wife Sarah and find out how they met. Sarah was in a car accident and broke her back. Jack, the best back surgeon money can buy, fixed her. Then they started dating and no one seems to have a problem with this. MOVING ON. That night, Jack is in the hotel lobby waiting for his dad who still hasn't shown up. But then he shows up. Finally it's the wedding and the worst actor ever is presiding over the ceremonies. Seriously, I've seen better actors in kindergarten plays. Hell, I probably was a better actor in my kindergarten play. Jack and Sarah wrote their own vows, but it's pretty standard wedding stuff. If you've been to a wedding, you get the gist of it.
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| Hello, yes. I am a person smiling as humans do. |
- The title of this episode makes me think of this song from the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels musical.
- It's a fantastic musical, by the way. Maybe even better than the movie.
- I fucking hate Shmoopy Sayid so much. And on their date, Shannon talks about her weird, dumb, incestual relationship with Boone. There is a reason we are not speaking of this.
- TRUE STORY: I had such bad stage fright in my kindergarten play, that my friend had to keep feeding me my lines. He then got in trouble for talking to me during the show.
- TRUE STORY: I had such bad stage fright in my kindergarten play, that I completely blanked out the night performance, and have no memory of it ever happening. I remember going to school the next day thinking that I was going to get in trouble for missing it, but apparently I didn't.
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| The "I'm gonna puke" Jackfaces are a whole subset. |
- Are you Lost?
- DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!
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| But if we're being honest with each other, the "Is that a fart?" Jackfaces are my favorite. |
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