Here it is. The first truly great episode of the series. Yes, this is the episode where everyone finally gets to eat pork chops.
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| Literally foreshadowing. |
THE ISLAND
All right kids, there is a lot going down on the island this week, so let's get right to it. It's night, and Vincent is freaking the fuck out. Something is in the plane's fuselage and as everyone knows, dogs will only bark at things that are supernatural or scary and never freak out for no reason whatsoever. Turns out there's CGI boars eating the dead bodies inside the plane. Jack looks at the problem and says "We've got to burn the bodies." For reasons I don't understand, everyone else has a problem with this (#teamcreamation). Except for Locke. He looks at the problem and says "Dinner." But, yeah. Most everyone else is all "Fuck you, guy who's done nothing but try to help everyone since the crash. Why don't we just burn them right now" And Sayid is all "A-doy. He wants to make a signal fire."
So, we've got two A plots this week, which is only something that a show with 47 main characters can get away with. First we've got Jack preparing to burn up everything that used to be alive. And then you've got Locke and his ham lust. We'll deal with Jack first. He starts cleaning out the fuselage, getting it ready for Burning Man, but everyone still has a problem with this. Claire wants to have a memorial service and she wants Jack to lead it. Jack....is not on board. If other people want to, fine. But it's not his thing. Then someone points out the older lady sitting alone by herself. Jack recognizes her as Rose from the first episode, and I recognize their names and check to see when Titanic came out. (It was 1997) (I doubt it was intentional).
So Jack talks to Rose for a little bit, they have a heart to heart. And here's where the episode come together for me, at least where it comes to Jack. He's not the Great Leader that everyone wants him to be. He's a surgeon. He sees a problem, counts to five, and fixes it. But he's not a total beep boop robot. He's got good bedside manner too. He genuinely wants to help Rose deal with the death of her husband. Of course, that's when Rose points out that yes, her husband was in the tail section when the plane fell apart. That doesn't mean he's dead. Before Jack can deal with that though, he starts hallucinating a man in a dark suit wandering around the jungle. So there's that now.
And while this is going on, Claire and Hurly are putting together a memorial service. These scenes are nice, but there's nothing here that's really worth putting in a recap. Except for the part where they find an envelope with Sayid's name on it. Inside is a picture of a totally hot babe. I'm sure this will be relevant later.
Right. So. Locke. He sees the pigs rooting around and is all "I'll get one of them. With these knives that I brought on the plane!" And everyone freaks the fuck out. On the one hand, I get it. Knife Guys are weird. Everyone knows that. But Locke seems to know what he's doing. And he's promising to get everyone bacon. That makes him OK in my book. (In the episode you don't find out until later, but I'll tell you right now. Dude is hardcore. He was going to spend six weeks wandering around the Australian Outback with nothing but those knives. Even more hardcore when you find out.... well, I'll get to that.) Locke heads off into the jungle. Kate comes along, because Kate is always coming along. And Michael is coming to get to know his son's new friend. Michael in particular has been very suspicious of Locke and I just don't understand why.
In the jungle Michael fills us in on some of his backstory. He wasn't really in Walt's life until just recently when Walt's mother died. So their strained relationship makes more sense now. Then a pig stabs him in the leg. Kate helps Michael back to the camp. Locke continues the hunt because fuck you, John Locke does what he wants, no matter what someone says.
Now, earlier in the episode, Sayid came up with a radio doodad that can be used to help figure out where the French Lady is broadcasting from. If they can find that, they have a better chance of getting home. He needs Kate to put it somewhere up high. On the way back home, Michael needs to rest his leg. So Kate climbs up a tree, then drops the radio because catchphrases have to start somewhere. Then monster noises happen and trees start shaking, and the monster is making a beeline for Locke. We switch to the monster's POV, and he gets right up on Locke, but doesn't eat him for whatever reason. The episode ends with Claire's funeral.. wait, not Claire's funeral, the funeral that Claire put together for everyone else.
Throughout the episode, Boone and Shannon have been fighting because for all of Boone's faults, at least he's trying. Shannon can't even get food. And she's all "Fuck you! I can get a fish! I can get all the fish!" She then flirts with Charlie so that he'll get her a fish. And look, Charlie, I like you. But you've got more dignity when you're on the jungle floor licking out the inside of your heroin bag. It's just sad watching you fall for Shannon's obvious tricks.
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| You're not going to recreate the magic, Jack. That is no substitute for a tiny bottle of vodka. |
THE FLASHBACK
Tight in on Locke's face. He receives a mysterious call from someone who refers to him as... The Colonel. Man, this Locke must be a stone cold bad ass. Well, not quite. Turns out he only plays army in his free time. The rest of the day he works some menial office job looking kind of dumb with a finger and a thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead. His boss is some douchey kid with an even douchier beard. Oh, and his name is Randy Nations, which is such a douchebag name. Locke is planning a trip to Australia where he is going to take an authentic Australian Walkabout through the outback. Locke's friend thinks this is a great idea. Randy thinks it's HILARIOUS (what a douche), and straight up tells Locke he can't do it. Well, don't tell Locke what he can't do. He going to get himself away from this place. Yep. What a concept. His friend, of course, could use a little fuel himself and we could awl use a little chaaaaaaaaaange.
The weeks start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and Locke hit the ground... well, I'll get to that. He's sitting in bed talking on the phone to his girlfriend Helen. They heavily imply that Locke quit his job to go on this trip. And he surprises Helen with the news that he has TWO tickets to Australia. And that's when we find out Helen is a phone sex worker. Awkward.
But Locke decides to go on the walkabout anyways. You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow. But now the tour guide isn't telling him that he can't do it. And, oh boy, you do not tell Locke what he can't do. Locke loses his shit, but it turns out the guide has a point. See, Locke is a paraplegic. He's in a wheelchair. Suddenly all the awkward staging and talk about amputees climbing Mount Everest makes sense. It's a hell of a reveal. Really surprising and heartbreaking.
The ending is great. We're back at the crash, Locke is just figuring out that his legs work on the island for some reason. This is all filmed in the same chaotic style as the first episode and there's all the smoke and fire and blood and Shannon just fucking screaming. But the music is very sweeping and inspirational, and Locke is happy and content, knowing that he's fulfilled his destiny. He basks in the moment, before leaping into action to do whatever the hell it was he did in the first episode. The juxtaposition of triumph and success with all the imagery of the crash is fantastic. Only shooting stars break the mold.
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| Catchphrases have to start somewhere. |
THE RANDOM THOUGHTS
- This episode does a great job of laying the groundwork for the man of science/man of faith rivalry that is going to be very important in the coming years.
- We really get to understand why Locke likes it so much on that island. He's a rock star. Get the show on. Get paid. In boar meat. His life on the mainland is so sad and pathetic (and it's only going to get worse), and on the island, he's practically a god. But, I'll get to that later.
- How many Monster energy drinks do you have to slam before you think it's a good idea to rhyme "yep" with "concept"?
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| Told you so. |
THE CATCHPHRASES
- DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO! (x3)
- DON'T YOU EVER TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO! (variant)
- Son of a... (variant)
- Catchphrases have to start somewhere. (This will not become a catchphrase)
