In which, in true Boone fashion, the episode starts out good, but by the end is completely terrible.
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| Pretty boy is ready for his close up. |
THE ISLAND
Boone and Locke have been going out hunting all day every day, but have not brought back any boar. Naturally, the fat guy has some issues with this. Normally this would irritate me, but Jorge Garcia is so damn likeable, I can't help but enjoy it. Boone brushes him off though, because he has to go yell at Sayid. "Stay away from my sister!" he shouts. "What goes into her vagina is definitely my business! And it's not creepy or gross at all that I care about it!" Oh, poor Flonk From an Hour Ago. You don't know what creepy and gross is. Sayid, for his part, is more amused than anything at the trust fund kid trying to intimidate an actual factual Iraqi soldier (well, Indian Iraqi soldier, but you get my point), and all but laughs in his face. Locke is able to diffuse the situation by dragging Boone away for the day's hunt.
Except they're not hunting at all. They're down at that weird hatch thing, trying to figure out how to get it open. There's no handle, and it's sealed shut, so they can't force it open. Boone wants to tell everyone else about what they found, but Locke thinks that's a bad idea. Boone needs to tell someone. At the very least, Shannon HAS to know. Locke still vetoes it. But Boone is insistent that Shannon must know, so Locke bonks Boone on the head with a frying pan, ties him up, rubs some kind of goo in the wound, leaves a knife juuuuuuust out of reach, then walks off into the jungle, hands in pockets, whistling "The Fishin' Hole"
When Boone wakes up, he hears Shannon screaming for help in the distance. Locke tied her to a tree too! And if things aren't bad enough, the Monster starts making a ruckus. Boone manages to free himself, finds Shannon and cuts her free, and they run as far from the Monster as they can. It's a pretty intense sequence, even more impressive when you realize the Monster is just a shaky camera and weird sound effects. But eventually the Monster catches Shannon, chews her up, and spits out her empty shell like so much boiled peanut. Goodbye Shannon, you were too bitchy for this world.
That night, Boone returns to the camp and sees Locke sitting next to the fire. He tries to stab Locke in revenge, but Locke points out that Shannon is in fact alive and well. He had smeared some peyote in Boone's festering head wound, and the last 24 hours have just been a crazy trip, man. But seeing Shannon dead was what Boone needed to let her go. And so, Boone and Locke hold hands and skip back to the hatch together, the best of friends.
There isn't really a B plot this week. It's mostly some loosely connected character scenes. But I'm fine with that, because these are some great characters. First Hurley is mad because there's no more pig and Jin fucking hates him, so there's no fish either. Also, hilarious poop jokes. He tries to go fishing himself, but slips on an underwater banana peel and breaks a plate glass window. Jin is able to see that Hurley is trying, so he gives him a fish. Now they're best friends.
Jack decides he needs to make up with Kate after last week. So he stalks her for a while like a goddamn creeper. She's collecting seeds for a garden Sun has been working on. He gives her some guava seeds and now they're best friends again. As Kate is working on the garden, she starts talking about how great and pretty she is and how all the boys love her. Sun just rolls her eyes and is all "Of course they do." That's when it dawns on Kate, Sun can speak English. She promises to keep it a secret and now they're best friends.
Locke is walking through the jungle, quite pleased with himself. He comes across Sayid, doing some orienteering. He gives Sayid his compass, saying he doesn't need it anymore. But, as Sayid later shows Jack, the compass is useless anyway. It just points wherever it wants, nowhere near north. Because, I can not stress this enough, this island is fucking weird. This makes Jack suspicious, but as Charlie points out Locke may be scary, but he's the most capable person on the island. "There's no one I trust with my life more than John Locke." Well, I'm sure that will all work out well for everyone.
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| Nature's best friends |
THE FLASHBACK
Boone is at the country club with Generic Blond #4, with a sweater tied around his neck, laughing about the poor people who can only afford pool memberships. That's when he gets a call on his hilarious 2004 flip phone. It's Shannon. She's in Australia and she's in trouble. But when Boone gets to Sydney and meets her boyfriend (Some beefy James Woods looking motherfucker) she's all "What are you doing here? Go away." Goddamn drama queen. But when she adjusts her hair, Boone spots some bruises. So he decides to come back later.
First step, he goes to the police. They're not much help, though. First off, there's a ragin Cajun they're trying to arrest. Also, the cop can't understand how Shannon Rutherford and Boone Carlyle can be siblings if they have different last names (No one tell this guy about Fant4stic), despite the obvious explanation. Boone's mother married Shannon's father (No one tell this guy about The Brady Bunch). It's not going well, so Boone decides to grease some palms and drops his mother's name. "Perhaps you've heard of Carlyle Weddings? We're the third largest wedding supplier of the Pacific Northwest. I'm Executive Vice President in Charge of Veils, Tiaras, and Other Headgear" The cop doesn't go for it. Since that didn't work, Boone decides to go with an old classic. Pay the boyfriend to go away.
But when Boone comes to pick up Shannon too early, the boyfriend is still there! The jig is up! Shannon and her boy toy were going to split the money! An this isn't the first time she's pulled this scam on him. She knew he would pay off the guy, because he always does. Poor sap. Then, to add injury to insult, the boyfriend punches Boone in the face a few times. Because it's been a while since Boone got punched in the face. I missed that.
That night, as Boone rubs a steak on his face and makes sure his chiseled jaw is still intact, he hears a knock on his hotel room door. It's Shannon. Turns out her boyfriend was a total scumbag after all (who knew?) and took all the money. This is when things take a turn for the gross. Shannon says that she knew Boone would save her because he's in love with her and always has been. And Boone is all "Shut up, you're dunk. Stop being gross." But then they start making out all over the place. Because on TV you can't have any sort of platonic male/female relationship without one or both secretly wanting to bang the other. Not even siblings are safe. Goddamnit. Anyways, they bone. Then the plane crashes. I'm done. I can't with this right now.
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| Picture taken just before he sued all of Twitter. |
THE RANDOM THOUGHTS
- Overall I liked this episode too. The Boone/ Locke relationship is great. The Hurley/Jin stuff was real funny. I even liked the Jack and Kate scenes. But the end of that flashback. Holy shit, no.
- It doesn't help that Shannon is supposed to be an unlikable character, and we can't see a reason why anyone would be interested in her, beyond "she's hot". Especially if that person has known her for her entire life. And ignoring the part where they are related. Ugh.
- That all said, this was a very strong character episode. I really enjoyed just hanging out with these people for a day and seeing what they got up to.
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| Nature's best pals. |
THE CATCHPHRASES
- I didn't notice any this week, but acording to Lostpedia, Hurley says "Dude" 6 times.
- Please enjoy this Lostpedia page on Dude. Complete with a handy chart of Hurley's DPE (Dudes Per Episode)
- I love this website.
