WHY AM I WATCHING VOYAGER?
In which I use this post about my favorite thing (Star Trek) to talk about my like 5th favorite thing (Batman).
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| "Bill Riker, the pleasure is yours." |
Yeah, it's that time again. I'm back on The Post Atomic Horror to talk about my least favorite thing in the world, Star Trek: Voyager. But here's the thing. Both of these episodes are really good. In the first one, there's a rouge missile and B'Elanna talks it into shutting down like so much Jim Kirk. Then, in the second one, they find a Q that wants to kill itself and so the Q from Next Generation shows up and hi-jinks ensue. They're both great, and frankly if you HAVE to watch some Voyager, these are the ones to watch. You can listen to the episode here, or search for Post Atomic Horror in your preferred podcast app. But today I'm here to tell you about something a little different.
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| "Hello, dum-dum." |
As is prone to happen on the show, we went on a bit of a tangent, and I learned about a young man by the name of Batman Jones. So join me as we travel all the way back to June 1957 in Batman #108, and we learn about The Career of Batman Jones.
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| The 50's were a wonderful time for comics. |
"There's only one Batman!" That has often been said admiringly of the great caped lawman! But it's no longer true-- For now there is another Batman, one who can rightfully call himself by that name! And the famed crime busters find one of their toughest problems, when they witness... THE CAREER OF BATMAN JONES!
Written by Jack Schiff (creator of Tommy Tomorrow) and art by Bill Finger (creator of the goddamn Batman) this is the story of some young snot who's just around to annoy Batman and make Robin jealous. A while back, Batman saved a young couple from a car accident. They were so grateful, they named their kid Batman in his honor. So Batman Jones' real name is, that's right, Batman Jones. And the kid just loves being called Batman. He made himself a Batsuit, when his mom wants him to come home, she flashes a little Batsignal, the whole deal. This kid is really into being Batman Jones.
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| Oh my god, kid. Take it down a notch. |
Batman Jones wants to find out who Batman is, so he starts hanging out at crime scenes hoping Batman will show up and take him under his bat wing. Batman's not keen on this, the Batman Jones is too young to be a crimefighter. But Batman Jones is going to investigate the crime with or without Batman's help, so Batman decides to let him tag along, as long as Batman Jones obeys his every order. Then he tells Batman Jones to go outside and play. At first Batman Jones is miffed, but then he organizes a game of hide and seek with the local youths. And because "Boys always know the best hiding-places in any locality!" Batman Jones finds the missing silver statue. He tells Batman, who then paints himself silver so he can sucker punch the statue thief. I love comics.
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| SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER! |
Batman realizes the kid's enthusiasm is useful, but dangerous. So he hits Batman Jones over the head with a bat-frying pan and takes him to the Batcave. He puts Batman Jones through a series of tests, fighting a giant robot clown, fighting a giant camera, fighting a regular size net. OK, they can't all be winners. But Batman Jones passes every test with flying colors, getting cockier with each win. And boy, does this cheese Robin off.
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| Lousy Batman Jones... |
Batman's plan to stop Batman Jones is to tell his mother. That goes about as well as you'd expect. The next day, there's a hobby show showcasing some giant power tools. But that night, some crooks show up to use the giant drill to break into the bank next door. Batman Jones tries to stop them, but gets captured. Luckily, Batman and Robin swoop in to save the day. They are all set to reprimand Batman Jones, but he's really into stamp collecting now. So that all worked itself out. And so ends... The Career of Batman Jones!
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| They were really into giant props in the 1950's |
RANDOM THOUGHTS
- Batman Jones' real name is Batman Jones.
- Tommy Tomorrow's real name is Thomas Tomorrow
- Jack Schiff is not big on secret identities.
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