Numbers

WHY AM I WATCHING NUMBERS?

In which the mythology of the show starts to get fucking weird.

Hmm, yes. Spooky numbers. This is a thing that makes sense. Tell me more. 

THE ISLAND

Michael and Jin, those bickering boatmakers, are working hard on the new raft. But Michael needs a radio to contact any ships that may be out there. Jack thinks it's possible to make a radio, but powering it would be a problem. However, Michael points out that Rousseau, the crazy French lady, has a crazy hermit cabin full of batteries. But who would be stupid enough to go looking for her? Smash cut to Sayid saying "No. Absolutely not." As Jack and Sayid argue, Hurley starts looking through crazy Rousseau's crazy notes. He finds one that's just the same sequence of numbers written over and over again. 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 and he gets freaked out. So freaked out that he wakes up Sayid in the middle of the night to ask him totally casual and not at all suspicious questions about where Rousseau's cabin is. Then he steals a map and goes on a hike.

The next day, Sayid confronts Jack because he thinks Jack sent Hurley to steal the map. Jack is all "I don't know what you're talking about bro." So they decide to go find Hurley before he hurts himself. Or more likely, Rousseau hurts him. Charlie comes along because he's Hurley's BFF. Surprisingly, there is a jungle mission, and Kate does not come along. (Kate's only got one scene, and it's the only garbage part of this otherwise great episode, so we're not gonna talk about it)

Hurley finds that weird ass cable that comes out of the ocean, and I guess forgot about the part where Sayid said the jungle is lousy with traps, because he steps right on a landmine. The others (small "o") show up in time to save him. But Hurley is all "What are you doing here? I'm just trying to get a battery and not investigating these evil numbers that follow me wherever I go." The other guys just exasperatedly go with him. They keep following the cable. but that just ends up going right into the dirt because, and you need to remember this, the island is fucking weird. Sayid is totally Lost now, so they just keep following the path. Then they find a rickety rope bridge going across a huge canyon. Hurley runs right across it, like so much Indiana Jones. But when Charlie crosses, he breaks it, like so much Mola Ram. Jack and Sayid wants Charlie and Hurley to stay put while they find a way across. Charlie wants to stay put because that's the sensible thing to do. And Hurley's like "Come on dude, let's go."

As Jack and Sayid search for a way across the chasm, Jack trips over a wire and blows up Rousseau's house. But hey, they found the house. Charlie and Hurley hear the explosion, and Charlie wants to go back and find out what happened, Hurley wants to keep looking for Rousseau. They start fighting about Hurley's crazy, irrational behavior. And just as Hurley is about to tell Charlie the truth about the Numbers (See the next section for more on that, true believer!) a crazy French gun starts shooting at them. So, they take off running. Charlie, back to Jack and Sayid; Hurley into the barrel of a rifle. Hurley asks what the numbers mean and now it's exposition time.

Rousseau's science team were shipwrecked on a wacky island. They couldn't get a radio signal out because there was a very strong transmission that was just "4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42" on a loop. They found a radio tower up near the black rock, but that's when everyone got "sick" and Rousseau had to "cure" them. That's when she changed the Numbers transmission to her distress call. Hurley explains how he thinks the numbers are cursed and Rousseau thinks about it and says "Well, my life went to shit after I heard those numbers, your story checks out." Hurley is so happy that someone finally believes him that he doesn't think about how she's nuttier than a box of peanut butter (extra crunchy). But he does get Michael his battery. So that was nice.

EPILOGUE: The camera zooms in on that hatch that Locke and Boone are digging up. Embossed on it are a few numbers. 4. 8. 15. 16. 23. 42. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!

We're owl exterminators.

THE FLASHBACK

Hurley is at home, having just finished his shift at Los Pollos Hermanos. His mom is nagging him about something or other, but it all doesn't matter because Hurley has won the lottery with the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 28, and the bonus number 42, making him the largest lotto winner in the state's history. At the press conference Hurley starts talking about all the nice things he's going to do for his family with all the money, starting with a vacation for his Grandpa Tito, but Tito has other plans, and just goes ahead and dies on camera instead. Take off from work? Don't tell Grandpa Tito what he can't do.

Everyone around Hurley continues to have bad luck. The priest at his grandfather's funeral is struck by lightning, his brother's wife leaves him for another woman, his mother breaks her ankle, his new house is on fire, he's got a "kick me" sign taped to his back. The list goes on and on. Hurley is even arrested, because the cops see a rich minority who looks like he just smoked all the pot, and think he's a drug dealer. And yet, Hurley's bank account thrives. A massive settlement with the LAPD helps jump start some investments he's made. He owns a box company. He had a Canadian sneaker factory, but it burned to the ground killing 8 people. (That's bad) But it was over insured and will make him more money than it ever did when it was operational! (That's good!). That's when Hurley makes a logic leap and realizes that it's not his money that's cursed, but the numbers he used to win the money! Everybody thinks that makes him sound crazy, and boy does that really piss Hurley off.

It pisses him off so much, he heads to the local mental hospital to talk to his crazy buddy Leonard. Leonard's not the talkative type though. He mostly just keeps repeating "4, 8,14, 15, 23, 42" over and over again. It's not until Hurley says that he used the numbers to win the lottery that Leonard starts talking. And by "talking" I mean "Shouting crazy nonsense until the orderlies drag him away". But Hurley is able to make some sense from it and tracks down Leonard's navy buddy Sam in Australia. Well, tracks down his faceless corpse anyways. As this dude's legless widow explains, Sam and Lenny were working at a listening post and they heard a radio broadcast playing the numbers over and over again, (The same one Rousseau's team heard, if you ask me) but could never figure out where it was coming from or what it meant. One day Sam used the numbers to win a different number based contest, and even though he won, he had nothing but bad luck since. It got so bad, he stuck a shotgun in his mouth. His wife dismisses the curse as nonsense, of course. But all it does is confirm to Hurley that he is now cursed and there is no escape. Then his plane home crashes.

You will respect my mustache!

THE RANDOM THOUGHTS

• The subplot this week involves Locke and Claire building a cradle for the baby. It's nice, but there's not much to say about it really. Just good "stick two people in a room and make them talk" character writing.
• There was one other bad scene I forgot about where Shannon and Sayid make shmoopy eyes at each other. Not that Shannon was great before, but she had a personality. You were supposed to hate her. Now she's just Pretty Blonde Girl Who Worries About Her Boyfriend #63462
• Yes, 42 is a reference to The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The other numbers were picked because they had shown up on the series previously (Oceanic flight 815, for example). This is a great example of why a TV show shouldn't have a master plan, and you can come up with things as you go along.
• Why this is a bad thing will be covered in later entries of this blog.
• Yeah, I know Indy cut the rope bridge. Shut up, nerd. That movie sucked anyways.

Hurley tries his hand at a sexy stare.

FENWAY PARK

• 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42
• If this weren't the middle of nowhere, I'd say you were Lost!
• We're Lost out here!

Hang on, guys. Sawyer found a new restaurant.