In which Sulu is menaced by a dragon. No, seriously.
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| Space. The final frontier. |
Monday, September 26, 2016
Once Upon A Planet
WHY AM I WATCHING ONCE UPON A PLANET
In which Sulu is menaced by a dragon. No, seriously.
In which Sulu is menaced by a dragon. No, seriously.
Saturday, September 17, 2016
The Magicks of Megus-Tu
WHY AM I WATCHING THE MAGICKS OF MEGAS-TU?
In which my science fiction show has a goddamn wizard's duel.
In which my science fiction show has a goddamn wizard's duel.
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| Yeah, fine. Spock is a wizard now. |
Monday, September 5, 2016
The Infinite Vulcan
WHY AM I WATCHING THE INFINITE VULCAN?
In which there are a lot of good ideas, until there aren't.
Man, this one started so good too. The crew beams down to a planet that appears to be abandoned, but the sensors are showing a bustling city. Sulu goes to pick a flower. The flower poisons him and runs away. Yes, this is a planet full of sentient plants, which is a pretty neat idea. We probably should have seen that coming when the planet was named Phylos, but it is a cartoon for the smallest of children. Anyways, some asparagus looking dudes show up and give Sulu an antidote.
The Phylosians explain that humans had visited their planet before, but they ran around spraying Round Up everywhere because now the Phylosians are a species on the brink of extinction. But there's no time for that, because everyone gets attacked by giant phallic looking monsters with wings. Oh no! Dickbats! The dickbats grab Spock with their tendrils, and somebody learned they had a fetish that day. It turns out this has all been a clever trap, because the Phylosian's master needs Spock for his own sinister purposes. Kirk is not happy about his best friend getting kidnapped, so he looks for the Master himself. And finds him! The Master is Dr. Stavos Keniclius 5, a very tall human. Like, twenty five feet tall. So there's that. He declares that he's keeping Spock and sends the rest of the crew back up to the Enterprise.
Uhura finds out that Keniclius was a scientist during the Eugenics Wars of the 1990's (remember those?) Yes, the same War that brought us Kahn Noonian Singh, the genetically perfect dictator, also gave us this evil master of cloning. Proving once again that Star Trek has no idea what eugenics means. He's been cloning himself for the last 300 years, and increasing his size each time, I guess. Armed with this new information, Kirk returns to the planet where the episode goes off the rails pretty quickly.
Keniclius has already cloned himself a giant Spock because why the fuck not. He's transferred Spock One's tiny brain into Giant Spock (Which, sadly, there is already a precedent for.) and Kirk has to convince him to put it back before Normal Sized Spock dies. I think the dickbats come back, too. After several tedious minutes, Kirk convinces the tall Vulcan with the most logical statement heard on Star Trek. "Spock's death is meaningless if it's only to create a giant version of himself." Wise words indeed. So Large Spock mind melds with Small Spock and the day is saved. The two large scientists vow to put their giant brains together to create "a good master race" Then there's some casual racism towards Sulu and we all have a good laugh. What the fuck, Walter?
THE RANDOM THOUGHTS
In which there are a lot of good ideas, until there aren't.
 |
| "Captain, maybe we could let Chekov come just this once" "He knows what he did," |
Man, this one started so good too. The crew beams down to a planet that appears to be abandoned, but the sensors are showing a bustling city. Sulu goes to pick a flower. The flower poisons him and runs away. Yes, this is a planet full of sentient plants, which is a pretty neat idea. We probably should have seen that coming when the planet was named Phylos, but it is a cartoon for the smallest of children. Anyways, some asparagus looking dudes show up and give Sulu an antidote.
The Phylosians explain that humans had visited their planet before, but they ran around spraying Round Up everywhere because now the Phylosians are a species on the brink of extinction. But there's no time for that, because everyone gets attacked by giant phallic looking monsters with wings. Oh no! Dickbats! The dickbats grab Spock with their tendrils, and somebody learned they had a fetish that day. It turns out this has all been a clever trap, because the Phylosian's master needs Spock for his own sinister purposes. Kirk is not happy about his best friend getting kidnapped, so he looks for the Master himself. And finds him! The Master is Dr. Stavos Keniclius 5, a very tall human. Like, twenty five feet tall. So there's that. He declares that he's keeping Spock and sends the rest of the crew back up to the Enterprise.
Uhura finds out that Keniclius was a scientist during the Eugenics Wars of the 1990's (remember those?) Yes, the same War that brought us Kahn Noonian Singh, the genetically perfect dictator, also gave us this evil master of cloning. Proving once again that Star Trek has no idea what eugenics means. He's been cloning himself for the last 300 years, and increasing his size each time, I guess. Armed with this new information, Kirk returns to the planet where the episode goes off the rails pretty quickly.
Keniclius has already cloned himself a giant Spock because why the fuck not. He's transferred Spock One's tiny brain into Giant Spock (Which, sadly, there is already a precedent for.) and Kirk has to convince him to put it back before Normal Sized Spock dies. I think the dickbats come back, too. After several tedious minutes, Kirk convinces the tall Vulcan with the most logical statement heard on Star Trek. "Spock's death is meaningless if it's only to create a giant version of himself." Wise words indeed. So Large Spock mind melds with Small Spock and the day is saved. The two large scientists vow to put their giant brains together to create "a good master race" Then there's some casual racism towards Sulu and we all have a good laugh. What the fuck, Walter?
 |
| This... this fucking show, man. |
THE RANDOM THOUGHTS
- So, yeah. This is the episode written by TV's Walter Koenig, AKA The Guy Who Played Chekov, AKA The Worst Thing To Happen on Original Star Trek and Yes I'm Including The Apple.
- There's a reason Chekov was not invited to be on the cartoon.
- For the other times we dealt with Augments see the TOS episode Space Seed, the movie Star Trek II, the DS9 episode Statistical Probabilities, the ENT three part episode starting with Borderland, and if you must, Star Trek Into Darkness
- I really hate Chekov. Old Chekov, that is. New Chekov is pretty great.
- Speaking of which, Star Trek Beyond was pretty great.
- Speaking of which, Star Trek is pretty great.
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| The important thing is, Walter won't get any royalty checks. |
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
The Survivor
WHY AM I WATCHING THE SURVIVOR?
In which Gene discovers tentacle porn.
The Enterpise is patrolling the Romulan Neutral Zone, which is the most Star Trek thing they could possibly be doing, when they come across the wreckage of a ship. Luckily, the pilot is still alive, and he is none other than Carter Winston, man about town. Remember that name, Carter Winston, you'll be hearing it a lot. Carter Winston is the best humanity has to offer, constantly using his fame and fortune to help out others. Kirk can't stop telling Carter Winston how great he is. And when Carter Winston isn't on screen, the other characters should be saying "Where's Carter Winston?" Spock wants to check Carter Winston's identification before letting him roam about the ship. Bones acts like Spock just took a shit in the captain's chair. Carter Winston, of course is happy to provide all the evidence he needs to prove who he is. He's just that sort of guy.
By strange coincidence, Carter Winston's fiancee, Lt. Anne Nored happens to be working security on the Enterprise. That was lucky. But Carter Winston can't be around her. Too much time has gone by! It's too painful! Anne, a hard nosed security officer, runs away in tears. Women, am I right? Spock wants Carter Winston to stay quarantined until we can be sure he's actually Carter Winston. Everyone calls Spock an asshole for not trusting the great Carter Winston. Then, first chance he gets, Carter Winston shapeshifts into some crazy tentacle monster, bonks Kirk on the head, assumes Kirk's form, and orders the ship into the Neutral Zone.
Kirk wakes up and they chase Carter Winston around the ship for a bit. But then the Romulans find out that there is a Federation ship in the Neutral Zone. And, if you know anything about Star Trek, the best way to cheese the Romulans off is to violate that Neutral Zone. Kirk realizes that the shape shifting alien pretending to be Carter Winston is actually a Romulan spy. He gets the Enterprise into the Neutral Zone, and the Romulans are within their rights to confiscate the ship and learn the Federation's precious secrets. Meanwhile, Carter Winston has damaged the deflector dish, which is kind of an important thing for space travel, so the Enterprise can't escape.
Crack security officer Lt. Nored tracked down the saboteur. The alien confirms that the real Carter Winston is dead, but he's been pretending to be Carter Winston for so long, he has feelings for her. Uh....kay? Luckily, this awkward moment is interrupted by Romulans attacking. That's when Carter Winston realizes that he's put his fiancee in jeopardy, so he shapeshifts himself into a new deflector dish, and the Enterprise is able to make their escape. Carter Winston heads off to prison, and Lt. Nored is going with him because fuck it, it's the 70's.
THE RANDOM THOUGHTS
In which Gene discovers tentacle porn.
 |
| "This high five has gone horribly wrong!" |
The Enterpise is patrolling the Romulan Neutral Zone, which is the most Star Trek thing they could possibly be doing, when they come across the wreckage of a ship. Luckily, the pilot is still alive, and he is none other than Carter Winston, man about town. Remember that name, Carter Winston, you'll be hearing it a lot. Carter Winston is the best humanity has to offer, constantly using his fame and fortune to help out others. Kirk can't stop telling Carter Winston how great he is. And when Carter Winston isn't on screen, the other characters should be saying "Where's Carter Winston?" Spock wants to check Carter Winston's identification before letting him roam about the ship. Bones acts like Spock just took a shit in the captain's chair. Carter Winston, of course is happy to provide all the evidence he needs to prove who he is. He's just that sort of guy.
By strange coincidence, Carter Winston's fiancee, Lt. Anne Nored happens to be working security on the Enterprise. That was lucky. But Carter Winston can't be around her. Too much time has gone by! It's too painful! Anne, a hard nosed security officer, runs away in tears. Women, am I right? Spock wants Carter Winston to stay quarantined until we can be sure he's actually Carter Winston. Everyone calls Spock an asshole for not trusting the great Carter Winston. Then, first chance he gets, Carter Winston shapeshifts into some crazy tentacle monster, bonks Kirk on the head, assumes Kirk's form, and orders the ship into the Neutral Zone.
Kirk wakes up and they chase Carter Winston around the ship for a bit. But then the Romulans find out that there is a Federation ship in the Neutral Zone. And, if you know anything about Star Trek, the best way to cheese the Romulans off is to violate that Neutral Zone. Kirk realizes that the shape shifting alien pretending to be Carter Winston is actually a Romulan spy. He gets the Enterprise into the Neutral Zone, and the Romulans are within their rights to confiscate the ship and learn the Federation's precious secrets. Meanwhile, Carter Winston has damaged the deflector dish, which is kind of an important thing for space travel, so the Enterprise can't escape.
Crack security officer Lt. Nored tracked down the saboteur. The alien confirms that the real Carter Winston is dead, but he's been pretending to be Carter Winston for so long, he has feelings for her. Uh....kay? Luckily, this awkward moment is interrupted by Romulans attacking. That's when Carter Winston realizes that he's put his fiancee in jeopardy, so he shapeshifts himself into a new deflector dish, and the Enterprise is able to make their escape. Carter Winston heads off to prison, and Lt. Nored is going with him because fuck it, it's the 70's.
 |
| And now, the Fancy Lad Weather Report. |
- For that other time a member of the crew got shape shifted, or mind swapped, or whatever see the TOS episode Turnabout Intruder, the TNG episode Power Play, the DS9 episode The Passenger, and the VOY episode Warlord, and the ENT episode Observer Effect. Among many many many others.
- This episode features the first appearance of the other new crew member, M'Ress, the terrifying cat lady. The less said about her the better.
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| Keep your hands to yourself, mister. |
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
More Tribbles, More Troubles
WHY AM I WATCHING MORE TRIBBLES, MORE TROUBLES?
In which Kirk and friends find themselves in a spot of tribble.
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| Where did my career go wrong? |
Thursday, July 7, 2016
The Lorelei Signal
WHY AM I WATCHING THE LORELEI SIGNAL?
In which one of Gene's weird sex fantasies becomes a Saturday morning cartoon.
In which one of Gene's weird sex fantasies becomes a Saturday morning cartoon.
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| Me, when I read the plot of this episode. |
One of Our Planets is Missing
WHY AM I WATCHING ONE OF OUR PLANETS IS MISSING?
In which a TV show which has no sets does a bottle episode.
In which a TV show which has no sets does a bottle episode.
 |
| A visual representation of Shatner's contract. |
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Yesteryear
WHY AM I WATCHING YESTERYEAR?
In which Spock has an excellent adventure.
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| You have, and always shall be, my business associate. |
Sunday, July 3, 2016
Beyond the Farthest Star
WHY AM I WATCHING BEYOND THE FARTHEST STAR?
 |
| These guys. These fucking guys, |
Friday, June 17, 2016
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Man of Science, Man of Faith
WHY AM I WATCHING MAN OF SCIENCE, MAN OF FAITH?
In which there is a lot of running in place
In which there is a lot of running in place
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| Duhhhhhhhhhhhh |
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Post Atomic Horror 270
WHY AM I WATCHING VOYAGER?
In which Jeri Ryan has led an interesting life.
In which Jeri Ryan has led an interesting life.
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| I wouldn't mind joining her Collective. Eh? Eh? |
Friday, April 29, 2016
Journey 2 The Mysterious Island
WHY AM I WATCHING JOURNEY 2 THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND?
In which The Rock, Micheal Caine, and Luis Guzman.... wait, what?
In which The Rock, Micheal Caine, and Luis Guzman.... wait, what?
 |
Monday, March 14, 2016
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Post Atomic Horror 260
WHY AM I WATCHING VOYAGER?
Seriously, why? This show is a garbage show.
Seriously, why? This show is a garbage show.
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| Only 90's kids will like this episode. |
Monday, February 22, 2016
Exodus, Part 1
WHY AM I WATCHING EXODUS, PART 1?
In which shit gets real.
THE ISLAND
Lost is back, guys! After two weeks of boring nonsense, the show is back on track as Michael and his gallant crew leave the island. But first Walt's gallant urine has to leave his body. But as he's watering the jungle, he sees a crazy French woman and her crazy French guns making her way to the camp. She comes with a warning. She was pregnant when she crashed on the island and after her daughter was born she saw a pillar of black smoke in the distance. Then some of Ethan's Others came and took her baby. Everyone awkwardly avoids making eye contact with Claire.
Jack, of course, says "What? No. That's stupid. You're stupid" and goes back to launching the raft. Everyone not building the raft has built a ramp for it, and it's time to shove the whole mess into the water. At least it was, until Sawyer breaks something. It's just stalling for time, but putting off the launch for another 30 minutes makes for a good ending of the episode, and Sawyer storming off sets up a nice scene for him and Jack, so I'll allow it. Of course that's when everyone sees a pillar of black smoke off in the horizon. So either the island just elected a new Pope, or the castaways are fucked.
Everyone starts to wonder where 40 people are all going to hide together and Locke is all "Yeah, about that...." Jack tells everyone the plan. Blow the hatch, then everyone hides underground until this whole thing blows over. But to do that, they'll need some of Rousseau's crazy French dynamite. She doesn't have any. To get more, they'll need to travel to the black rock in the heart of the Dark Territory. Everyone take this news in stride. After 44 days, they've all figured out -and I can not stress this enough- this island is fucking weird. So everyone suits up for a Jungle Mission. We've got Jack, Locke, and Rousseau obviously. Kate, because of course. Hurley because that makes as much sense as Kate, and Dr. Arzt the high school science teacher from last week. He's coming because he's the only person who knows how to handle dynamite. The exasperated, condescending way he teaches everyone his utterly delightful. I'm looking forward to seeing more of this guy in the upcoming seasons.
Before they go, Jack says goodbye to Sawyer. It's a real nice scene that showcases a lot of character growth for both of them. Jack gives Sawyer a gun, so that if food runs out, he can handle the situation. And Sawyer tells Jack about the time he met Jack's dad in a dingy dingo bar. Strangely, Jack's father's famous catchphrase, "That's why the Red Sox will never win the World Series" doesn't come up. Seriously though, this is a great scene. I wish the two of them had more scenes like this together, instead of growling at Kate about which one of their dicks is bigger.
On the rest of the beach, Shannon is being a bitch, so Walt gives her Vincent. The dog helped him through his mom's death, now he can help her with Boone's. He's a good kid. Charlie is collecting messages for all the survivor's families to go on the raft. Locke declines to write one. I can't really blame him there. Sun has made Jin a little cheat sheet of English phrases to help him on the trip. They reconcile. It's really sweet. And so, Michael, Walt, Jin, and Sawyer set sail. Bound for California, or possibly Hawaii, or at least a cargo ship that won't run them over.
Back in the jungle, the group crosses over into the Dark Territory, and things get real creepy, real fast. Arzt, realizing he's a redshirt, decides to high tail it back to the beach. But changes his mind real quick when a Cloverfield starts chasing him. Kate leads most everyone right to a tree to hide in, but Locke grabs Hurley and they stay right were they are. Locke is convinced that the best way to outwit the monster is to just stay right were they are. And luckily for the SFX budget, that's exactly what happens. The monster wanders off before getting into camera range. Rousseau lets everyone know that the monster is a security system for the island, and quite frankly that just raises more questions. But there's no time for that! They've arrived at the black rock! Or to be more accurate, they've arrived at the Black Rock! It's not so much a rock as it is a giant shipwreck that is somehow in the middle of the jungle. I'm telling you, this island is fucking weird. Then, because someone decided to split this episode into two parts, and this is not a good place to take a break, we get a quick shot of the black smoke for the cliffhanger. LOST
THE FLASHBACK(S)
We get a bunch of little flashbacks this week that show what everyone was doing right before they got on the plane. It's actually a really good way to show how far the characters have come this season. We start out with Michael and Walt. It's 5 AM, and Walt wants to watch Power Rangers. Michael wants to sleep for a few more hours. He tries to compromise by asking Walt to turn down the sound, but Walt just turns it up instead. This turns into a huge fight, with Walt screaming that Michael isn't his father. It especially contrasts nice with the dissolve to Micheal and Walt on the beach sleeping next to each other.
Next we get Jack sitting in the airport bar. A young woman named Anna Lucia strikes up a conversation with him. We know that she's going to be important because she's Michelle Rodriguez and you don't fly a name actress to Hawaii and just have her film one minor scene. She's sitting in the back of the plane, though. So she's in the bottom of the Pacific now.
Time for Sawyer. We're seeing him right from the background of Boone's flashback. Last night Sawyer got wicked drunk and headbutted the Australian Prime Minister, the cops took him in and found out his real identity, and now he's being deported. I'm pretty sure deportation isn't handled by local beat cops, but maybe they do things different down there. Anyways, Sawyer is told he's no longer welcome in Australia, so that just makes me assume that all the airports have a picture of Josh Holloway's face inside the "no" symbol.
Next up is Kate. You know, I really don't want to sit here and repeat myself about how Kate ruins everything and climbs trees. But then the show needs to stop repeating itself too. There's nothing new here. We already knew the Marshall was a dick. We knew that stupid toy plane is important to her, and where it came from. And we already knew that Kate is Pure and Innocent and Good, and only did What She Had to in Order to Protect Herself. And she's had no character growth all season, so there's nothing to contrast it with. If you're not going to give us something new, then don't even bother. Also, this is the longest flashback, so the writers clearly thought this was the most important one. Or maybe it just felt like the longest. Either way, it was terrible. Kate ruins blah blah, you get the point.
Shannon and Boone are at the airport bickering. Try not to think about the fact that they were fucking a few hours earlier. Sayid asks Shannon to watch his bag and she's all "yeah, whatever." Boone yells at Shannon for being useless. Shannon shows how useful she is by telling a security guard that some Arab guy left his bag on the chair and took off. Irony?
Then there's more casual racism as Sun brings her husband some tea and a white woman makes fun of her thinking that Sun doesn't understand English. Not that it would be OK otherwise, but it's especially weird because Sun spills some tea on Jin and the woman mocks her for cleaning it up. White People: We're The Worst!
THE RANDOM THOUGHTS
FENWAY PARK
In which shit gets real.
 |
| Only who can prevent forest fires? |
THE ISLAND
Lost is back, guys! After two weeks of boring nonsense, the show is back on track as Michael and his gallant crew leave the island. But first Walt's gallant urine has to leave his body. But as he's watering the jungle, he sees a crazy French woman and her crazy French guns making her way to the camp. She comes with a warning. She was pregnant when she crashed on the island and after her daughter was born she saw a pillar of black smoke in the distance. Then some of Ethan's Others came and took her baby. Everyone awkwardly avoids making eye contact with Claire.
Jack, of course, says "What? No. That's stupid. You're stupid" and goes back to launching the raft. Everyone not building the raft has built a ramp for it, and it's time to shove the whole mess into the water. At least it was, until Sawyer breaks something. It's just stalling for time, but putting off the launch for another 30 minutes makes for a good ending of the episode, and Sawyer storming off sets up a nice scene for him and Jack, so I'll allow it. Of course that's when everyone sees a pillar of black smoke off in the horizon. So either the island just elected a new Pope, or the castaways are fucked.
Everyone starts to wonder where 40 people are all going to hide together and Locke is all "Yeah, about that...." Jack tells everyone the plan. Blow the hatch, then everyone hides underground until this whole thing blows over. But to do that, they'll need some of Rousseau's crazy French dynamite. She doesn't have any. To get more, they'll need to travel to the black rock in the heart of the Dark Territory. Everyone take this news in stride. After 44 days, they've all figured out -and I can not stress this enough- this island is fucking weird. So everyone suits up for a Jungle Mission. We've got Jack, Locke, and Rousseau obviously. Kate, because of course. Hurley because that makes as much sense as Kate, and Dr. Arzt the high school science teacher from last week. He's coming because he's the only person who knows how to handle dynamite. The exasperated, condescending way he teaches everyone his utterly delightful. I'm looking forward to seeing more of this guy in the upcoming seasons.
Before they go, Jack says goodbye to Sawyer. It's a real nice scene that showcases a lot of character growth for both of them. Jack gives Sawyer a gun, so that if food runs out, he can handle the situation. And Sawyer tells Jack about the time he met Jack's dad in a dingy dingo bar. Strangely, Jack's father's famous catchphrase, "That's why the Red Sox will never win the World Series" doesn't come up. Seriously though, this is a great scene. I wish the two of them had more scenes like this together, instead of growling at Kate about which one of their dicks is bigger.
On the rest of the beach, Shannon is being a bitch, so Walt gives her Vincent. The dog helped him through his mom's death, now he can help her with Boone's. He's a good kid. Charlie is collecting messages for all the survivor's families to go on the raft. Locke declines to write one. I can't really blame him there. Sun has made Jin a little cheat sheet of English phrases to help him on the trip. They reconcile. It's really sweet. And so, Michael, Walt, Jin, and Sawyer set sail. Bound for California, or possibly Hawaii, or at least a cargo ship that won't run them over.
Back in the jungle, the group crosses over into the Dark Territory, and things get real creepy, real fast. Arzt, realizing he's a redshirt, decides to high tail it back to the beach. But changes his mind real quick when a Cloverfield starts chasing him. Kate leads most everyone right to a tree to hide in, but Locke grabs Hurley and they stay right were they are. Locke is convinced that the best way to outwit the monster is to just stay right were they are. And luckily for the SFX budget, that's exactly what happens. The monster wanders off before getting into camera range. Rousseau lets everyone know that the monster is a security system for the island, and quite frankly that just raises more questions. But there's no time for that! They've arrived at the black rock! Or to be more accurate, they've arrived at the Black Rock! It's not so much a rock as it is a giant shipwreck that is somehow in the middle of the jungle. I'm telling you, this island is fucking weird. Then, because someone decided to split this episode into two parts, and this is not a good place to take a break, we get a quick shot of the black smoke for the cliffhanger. LOST
 |
| They probably shouldn't have named it the S.S. Minnow. |
THE FLASHBACK(S)
We get a bunch of little flashbacks this week that show what everyone was doing right before they got on the plane. It's actually a really good way to show how far the characters have come this season. We start out with Michael and Walt. It's 5 AM, and Walt wants to watch Power Rangers. Michael wants to sleep for a few more hours. He tries to compromise by asking Walt to turn down the sound, but Walt just turns it up instead. This turns into a huge fight, with Walt screaming that Michael isn't his father. It especially contrasts nice with the dissolve to Micheal and Walt on the beach sleeping next to each other.
Next we get Jack sitting in the airport bar. A young woman named Anna Lucia strikes up a conversation with him. We know that she's going to be important because she's Michelle Rodriguez and you don't fly a name actress to Hawaii and just have her film one minor scene. She's sitting in the back of the plane, though. So she's in the bottom of the Pacific now.
Time for Sawyer. We're seeing him right from the background of Boone's flashback. Last night Sawyer got wicked drunk and headbutted the Australian Prime Minister, the cops took him in and found out his real identity, and now he's being deported. I'm pretty sure deportation isn't handled by local beat cops, but maybe they do things different down there. Anyways, Sawyer is told he's no longer welcome in Australia, so that just makes me assume that all the airports have a picture of Josh Holloway's face inside the "no" symbol.
Next up is Kate. You know, I really don't want to sit here and repeat myself about how Kate ruins everything and climbs trees. But then the show needs to stop repeating itself too. There's nothing new here. We already knew the Marshall was a dick. We knew that stupid toy plane is important to her, and where it came from. And we already knew that Kate is Pure and Innocent and Good, and only did What She Had to in Order to Protect Herself. And she's had no character growth all season, so there's nothing to contrast it with. If you're not going to give us something new, then don't even bother. Also, this is the longest flashback, so the writers clearly thought this was the most important one. Or maybe it just felt like the longest. Either way, it was terrible. Kate ruins blah blah, you get the point.
Shannon and Boone are at the airport bickering. Try not to think about the fact that they were fucking a few hours earlier. Sayid asks Shannon to watch his bag and she's all "yeah, whatever." Boone yells at Shannon for being useless. Shannon shows how useful she is by telling a security guard that some Arab guy left his bag on the chair and took off. Irony?
Then there's more casual racism as Sun brings her husband some tea and a white woman makes fun of her thinking that Sun doesn't understand English. Not that it would be OK otherwise, but it's especially weird because Sun spills some tea on Jin and the woman mocks her for cleaning it up. White People: We're The Worst!
 |
| Look, there were a lot of flashbacks, and this was the only consistent character in all of them. |
THE RANDOM THOUGHTS
- Apparently the official name for the crash survivors is the Losties? Fucking stab me in the eyeball if I ever use that term non-ironically.
- We have yet to meet the Tailies and the Frighties. Fucking hell, do I hate fandom nicknames.
- I can't believe it took me almost an entire season to make a Cloverfield reference. I mean, it's right there!
- Lots of story lines wrap up this week and next. I like it a lot, the show goes through major changes every season, and they do a great job of clearing the slate this week, so we can set up all the new stuff next week.
 |
| Charlie is sending out an SOS, sending out an SOS, sending out an SOS, sending out an SOS, sending out an SOS |
- WALT!
- That's why the Red Sox will never win the World Series (not featured)
 |
| I lost my shit at this reveal the first time I watched this show. |
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Born to Run
WHY AM I WATCHING BORN TO RUN?
In which I put my head down and power through this so I can get to the season finale.
In which I put my head down and power through this so I can get to the season finale.
 |
| Kate ruins everything. And climbs tress. And sadly waggles a plane around. |
Monday, February 1, 2016
The Greater Good
WHY AM I WATCHING THE GREATER GOOD?
In which the flashback mirrors life on the island, but not in a way that's interesting or compelling in any way.
In which the flashback mirrors life on the island, but not in a way that's interesting or compelling in any way.
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| How I felt when the episode was over. |
Monday, January 18, 2016
Do No Harm
WHY AM I WATCHING DO NO HARM?
In which Jack spends 40 minutes fighting for a lost cause. This is probably the only time that happens.
In which Jack spends 40 minutes fighting for a lost cause. This is probably the only time that happens.
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| Jack episodes are my favorite because the screencaps are just so easy. |
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Deus Ex Machina
WHY AM I WATCHING DEUS EX MACHINA?
In which Boone stops screwing up. Sort of.
In which Boone stops screwing up. Sort of.
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| Did... did you just try to tell me what I can't do? |
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